from now on my penis is your penis
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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