You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You work out of a Hotel?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
