seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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