marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
