whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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