I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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