my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
