im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I am available for nakedness
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
