You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
