Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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