In the future we'll all be gay
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
