i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
