yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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