Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
false alarm, still single
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
