Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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