3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So much Jack, so little girl.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
