we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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