I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
