covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
