Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
