so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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