I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
