i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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