i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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