office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
