So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
