We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
