last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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