It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
