I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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