Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
