He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
