yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
