is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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