I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Omg I joined a choir last night...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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