your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
