sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
