omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
