three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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