allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
