That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
