Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
