so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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