im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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