I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
