The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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