ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
