I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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