It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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