just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
