put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
