Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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